Friday, September 24, 2010

Friday, August 13, 2010

Apparently I Terrify Men

Thoughts? Comments? Suggestions?
Oy...I swear they need to have a version of the bachelorette but with manly lumberjack-esque men and the ladies who love them. I would maybe give up my dignity for someone who wouldn't run away if I expressed interest in them....and yes, I know what you're thinking and no IT'S NOT ME.

Friday, August 6, 2010


I feel like all I've done on here lately is whine about stuff. Really, my life is pretty darn good overall and it may be just about to get better. I might have the opportunity to live in Paris, so get ready for some confusing, broken French and posts about baguettes and Catherine Deneuve. Or, if that doesn't work out, I'll continue to get into embarrassing situations with dudes. See what I do for you?

Friday, July 23, 2010

I Give Up

Recently, I was having a discussion about less-than-stellar boy behavior with a friend when she brought up something a co-worker had told her: "After my breakup I expected every guy to treat me like a girlfriend." This was given as a way to explain why a guy doesn't call/disappears/actslikeadouche/blahblahblah

Wait, what?

Maybe it's just me but...I don't think not being someone's girlfriend and still expecting to be treated with respect is mutually exclusive. I know at least a few guys who would agree with me as well. But, what bothers me most about this statement is it is yet another example of smart women making apologies for stupid men. Ladies, it's ok to expect someone to treat you like a human being, regardless of whether or not you're in a relationship (yet). You aren't being too demanding--it's called common courtesy and way too many dudes don't practice it. Just sayin'. 'Cause if this is the benchmark we're supposed to work with I might as well call it quits right now.

Thank God for Jon Hamm and this quote from a recent interview with Time on the differences between the men of the 1960s and today:

"There's a cordialness that men had when dealing with the opposite sex, even when they were being blatantly sexist. It's a weird conundrum. But that's been replaced with men treating women like absolute garbage and not even being polite about it, which is too bad."

Friday, July 16, 2010

I Want What I Want. And I Want It Now.

So, as you can probably tell, I've been having some dude problems as of late...People keep asking me "Well, what the hell do you want?"

As usual, Liz Lemon sums it up perfectly in this quote from last season:

"I want someone who will be monogamous, and nice to his mother. And I want someone who likes musicals but knows to just shut his mouth when I’m watching Lost. And I want someone who thinks being really into cars is lame and strip clubs are gross. I want someone who will actually empty the dishwasher instead of just taking forks out as needed, like I do. I want someone with clean hands and feet and beefy forearms like a damn Disney prince. And I want him to genuinely like me, even when I’m old. And that’s what I want”.

I would also like to add the following: Someone who isn't a wuss and preferrably looks like a hot lumberjack. Now, is that TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR?

Ok. End rant.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

WTF is up with dudes?

Enter Scene:

"You're just very direct," Katie said.
I looked up from my computer screen, where I was in the midst of composing a message to a dude. A dude who, on multiple occasions, stated that I made him quite nervous. The message read:

Yo. When are we gonna hang out again? You aren't still nervous, are you?

"Really?" I asked.
"Really. Guys don't know how to handle that."


I was reminded of this so-called 'directness' the other day when I was watching Pride and Prejudice for the 80 billionth time. When Darcy and Lizzie dance for the first time, Lizzie breaks Darcy's awkward silence: "It is your turn to say something now, Mr. Darcy. I talked about the dance, and you ought to make some kind of remark on the size of the room, or the number of couples."

You know Darcy would have just let the whole dance continue in silence. 'Cause he's a dude. Granted, P&P is nothing more than one big girlie wet dream, but still. I'd like to think there's someone out there (preferably someone with a large country estate) who appreciates a little bit of directness in a lady.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

This Is Why I Can't Have Nice Things

Hi, my name is Emily and I am a klutz.

I drop things, I fall down, I walk into walls, and my appendages usually have at least one or two mysterious bruises. Granted, I seem to be at my klutzy-est between Thursday and Saturday, but that's really beside the point. I've done enough stupid things while sober.

This past Saturday I had some friends over to my place. There was food, wine, dancing, and some more wine. Later in the evening I decided to go meet some other friends in Cambridge. For reasons unknown I was standing beside a storm drain talking to someone while looking through my text messages. As I closed my flip phone, I dropped it. I do this a lot in part of said klutzy-ness and because my phone is an ancient, unwieldy beast. However, I watched in horror as my phone actually FELL THROUGH THE GRATES. There were several moments of silence as my companion and I both looked at the sewer grate and each other in disbelief.

"I can't believe that actually just happened," he finally said.

I got on my hands and knees and tried to lift the sewer grate, which of course didn't work. Then I yelled for a while. Then I tried to lift the sewer grate again, this time with some assistance. Still didn't work.

Funnily enough I had just been having a discussion with my father about whether or not I should get an iPhone. My argument against such a purpose was my propensity for dropping my phone.

"Yes, but if you had an iPhone, you'd be more careful," Dad reasoned.

Yeah, that's doubtful.

As annoying as it is to drop your phone into a sewer, it's mostly just inconvenient. If I dropped an iPhone into the sewer, I would be apoplectic right now.

The next morning, this story was related to a friend of mine. His response?

"Oh man. I'm not surprised."

Quite frankly, neither am I. But, what can I do about it? Well, not buy an iPhone for starters. I can only hope that my old, cumbersome cell phone is on a magical journey through Boston's sewer system--kind of like Finding Nemo, but with outdated technology.