Thursday, May 20, 2010

In Which I Unknowingly Give Men The Worst Pick-Up Line Ever

I have a tattoo. It is on the inside of my upper arm and says "Thinking of You" in lovely, scrolling script. I got it as a memorial to a dear friend that passed away in January. It's not in a terribly visible place, and even when I wear something short-sleeved, people don't usually notice it--at least not right away. However, it's getting warm out. I'm going to bars. I'm wearing dresses--and dudes are seeing it. The standard exchange goes like this:

Dude: (Notices tattoo) Hey, you thinking of me? *wink*

Me: Uh. No.

Dude: (awkward laugh) I'm just kidding. Who you thinking of then?

Me: My dead friend.

~End Scene~

I get that it's hard to make conversation in a bar, but seriously? That's the best you can do? Who do you think I'm thinking of? Elmo? Tom Cruise? No, douchebag! Use your meat brain for 5 seconds. It should go like this:

"Hmm. It must be for someone special. Someone who probably isn't alive any more. Why would you need that for someone who was still around? I'll be polite."

I mentioned this to my aunt, who actually had a great response for me to give next time: "Not now, or ever." Ahmen.

No comments: